You’ll have heard about the tomcat who hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot’s ribs and demanded “Take me to the Canaries” 😊. Safer to drive, and only 2,000 miles from Switzerland. Did you know you can drive that in less than seven hours? That’s driving less than seven hours, not travelling!
Going via Italy you can take three ferries: one from Genoa to Tangier, the second from Tangier to Tarifa, and the third from Huelva to Las Palmas. A total of around 90 hours at sea (four nights) and 425 miles driving. So, much the same travel time as driving the 1250 miles leg from Switzerland to Huelva and then taking the Huelva to Las Palmas ferry, but a lot less driving 😊.
Going via Tangier allowed Bertie to explore a bit of North Africa - mostly without incident. One adventure was customs coming off the ferry in Tangier. Most cars were loaded to the gills with heaven knows what…
On arrival each car was harassed by numerous agents insisting everything was unloaded. It took hours, and was pointless - like most security theatre. The owner would take everything out of the car and off the roof, only to be told to quickly pack up as the queues were snaking back onto the ferry. I never saw anything being actually inspected, but I did see numerous men smoking on the car decks despite the warning signs about fuel vapor being explosive!
After three hours it was our turn to be tormented. “Good morning James Bond,” was the hilarious greeting. “Anything to declare?” I opened the boot to show the smallest amount of luggage probably ever seen in these parts. “On your way,” I was bid, only to find the key no longer turned the engine 🙁.
Palpitations and embarrassment swallowed me as I threw bags from the boot to get to the battery. Cover hinged down, strap released, tools off, box lid removed - all in front of a growing number of Moroccan militia. I searched for the portable jump starter - found it - plugged in leads - attached the right way round - turned key - nothing!
Akmed was getting restless. “Move along Johnny English,” was now the instruction; no longer was I Commander Bond. Finally the starter relay applied power, and the engine caught on the first turn. Disconnect the portable jump starter, throw in the bags, and make for the exit.
Turns out it was the starter relay - bad contacts, but a depleted battery was enough to exacerbate the weakness. Still, three-plus hours for customs is enough to put me off Morocco for good. Where do they think they are? Heathrow?
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